Sunday, September 2, 2012


I have been mentally preparing myself for this month since March 6th.

This is the month our little man should have been gracing us with his presence.
The month our family of 3 would be a family of 4.
The month I would be complete.
Tomorrow (Labor Day. Ironic, no?) is the day KRJ was due. 

It's difficult. I have found myself more emotional than usual the past couple days. But at the same time, it's not as hard as I thought it was going to be and I have this little girl:

..and this little bean:

to thank. Instead of being sad, I am trying to focus on the positives. I have made it past the point in this pregnancy where I lost KRJ. I've met some amazing mamas in my journey of grief who have helped make me feel like I'm not so alone. My marriage is stronger. I've learned not to take the little things for granted. I'm setting my mind towards the future. 

In 10 short days, we will be finding out the sex of our little baby who will be joining us in 5 months. The one who will complete our family. And for that, I couldn't be more thankful. This period of my pregnancy couldn't have come at a better time for us. It has helped us heal  in so many ways. Even though the hurt and the "what-if's" will always be there, I feel like God blessed us with this baby when he knew we needed it most.

Stay tuned for my 14 week update :)

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