{22 weeks}

How far along? 22 weeks!
Baby stats: Addison is the size of a spaghetti squash! She is almost one pound and is about 11" long. She can hear sounds from outside of the womb (which may explain that hard kick to my side I got the other night when driving home from work singing Taylor Swift at the top of my lungs.. lol) She is sleeping between 12-14 hours a day.. and unfortunately it's NOT when I'm sleeping, because her kicks wake me up at night! lol

Total weight gain/loss: +10 pounds since June.
Maternity clothes? Yes
Stretch marks? Nope
Sleep: Yes, please!!
Best moment this week: Feeling more defined kicks, and getting Addison some adorable clothes at Target during one of our shopping trips!

and...

Keith rolled his eyes SO HARD at the legwarmers.. but whatever. They're adorable and match the bodysuits!

Miss Anything? Wine
Movement: Tons :)
Food cravings:  Pineapple!
Anything making you queasy or sick: Nope

Have you started to show yet: Yup
Gender: GIRL! 
Labor Signs: No
Symptoms: RLS, heartburn
Belly Button in or out? In.
Wedding rings on or off? On
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy :)
Looking forward to: Meeting this little lady!

13 years

This is a little hard for me to write. It's a pretty sensitive subject and has been for the last, well, 13 years.

13 years ago today I lost my dad. I was only 12 years old. I have officially lived over half of my life without him here, and for a lack of better words, it sucks.

{I don't have many pictures of him. He wasn't really one for getting pictures taken.. This one is my favorite. 1989. }

He had a fairly short fight with cancer in 1999. Not even half a year. By the time they diagnosed him, it was too late to do anything. He was in the hospital for a little while, but before long we had him home in a hospital bed with hospice coming. He gave up eating and drinking. I remember the morning he died, I asked him if I could make him one of those Carnation instant breakfast shakes and he said no and I got upset with him. A few hours later he passed while I was at school. 

I hate that he missed me growing up. My graduation. My wedding. Aubrey's birth day. I hate that my girls will never know their grandfather.. that he will never be able to come up with awful nicknames for them (like he did for me, and no I will not tell you what it is because it's embarrassing lol), he won't be able to stick his dentures out of his mouth and flap them around and make them laugh. They won't spend endless summers with him up at the fairs he worked at. 

All they have are a few pictures, his grave, and the stories that I have in my memory. All I can do is make sure that it's enough.

1930-1999

♥

{21 weeks}

How far along? 21 weeks!
Baby stats: Addison is the size of a pomegranate! She went through a huge growth spurt this week, gaining approximately 4" in height and 2.2 ounces!

Total weight gain/loss: +8 since June. Oh yeah, packing on the pounds now..
Maternity clothes? Yes
Stretch marks? Nope
Sleep: I loooove sleep. Sundays are my favorite days because they always result in a 3 hour nap/doze while watching football with the hubby :)
Best moment this week: Apple & pumpkin picking with the family, and more solid kicks from Miss Addison.
Miss Anything? My oversized PJ shirts that are getting snug.
Movement: Tons :)
Food cravings:  Ben & Jerry's Pumpkin Cheesecake ice cream.. I know it's out there, but none of my local stores that have carried it in years past seem to be carrying it now...
Anything making you queasy or sick: No :)

Have you started to show yet: Oh yes
Gender: GIRL! 
Labor Signs: No
Symptoms: More restless legs. I took 3 laps around my work building the other night and they didn't bother me, so I think I just need to get more exercise in. I really need to unfreeze my gym membership..
Belly Button in or out? In.. but kind of looks like it's getting ready to come out.
Wedding rings on or off? On
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy :)
Looking forward to: Getting the girls' room started.

Family Fall Fun!

This past weekend was a blast! We have been trying to get to an apple orchard or a fair for the past month but the weather has been less than perfect.. but this Saturday we couldn't have asked for better weather! 

I began to panic as we reached Friday and I couldn't find an apple orchard that was still open. I promised Aubrey that this would be the weekend and she was so excited. The orchards around here always open really early in the season, so by the time October rolls around, the apples are slim picking. A friend recommended an adorable farm about 20 minutes away that we had never even heard of. 

Saturday morning, the first words out of this little lady's mouth were "Are we going apple picking now?!?"

{bright & early - ready to go!}

Our first stop was the corn maze! Not only was this Aubrey's first corn maze, but it was mine as well (I know, I know). 

{"Daddy's eating my head!"}

Before our hayride, I naturally had to make everyone pose for a cheesy family photo op:

{they'll thank me for this later, right?}

{hayride!}

After our corn maze and hay ride tour of the farm, we decided to pick out some pumpkins to carve. Aubrey found the perfect one for her!

We had to get into the car to drive down the dirt road leading to the apple orchard, but of course we had to stop at the farmstand and get some apple cider donuts, chocolate chip cookies, and pumpkin whoopie pies. All were fantastic! Besides the whole 'not being able to have pumpkin beer', I am loving being pregnant in the fall! So many yummy foods to splurge on and nobody thinks twice if I go for a second donut ;)

Aubrey had so much fun finding apples on the trees!

We were blown away at the amount of apples left in the orchard. We ended up getting over 23 pounds of apples for just $20.. so much cheaper than the farm that we usually go to! We have definitely found our new favorite farm and Aubrey can't wait to bring Addison back next year to show her the ropes of apple and pumpkin picking :)

We made a pit stop on the way home to pick up pumpkin carving patterns. Aubrey had fun scraping out the pumpkin brains..

{"Ewww, this is digusting mama!"}

Naturally, my child picked out Angry Birds patterns..

While Aubrey & her daddy finished up carving the pumpkins, I sliced up some apples and put an apple crisp in the oven. Topped with ice cream, this was the perfect way to end our perfect day!

Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day

{via}

As many of you probably saw, today - October 15th - is Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Day. This is our first year of "awareness" and it is hitting me kind of hard. There isn't a day that goes by where KRJ doesn't cross my mind at least once. Usually I'm okay, but some days it's just really hard to deal with. He would be just about 2 months old now. Lifting his head, smiling, cooing. We would be choosing out his first Halloween costume. I would most likely be coordinating his with Aubrey's (who is going to be Minnie this year!).

In honor of this day, everybody was invited to light a candle at 7pm in whatever time zone they are in and to leave it burning for at least one hour. This resulted in a wave of light all over the world to remember the babies we lost too soon.

I don't do candles. I'm a Scentsy consultant and have been obsessed with it for 2+ years. I got rid of the candles we had. The only 2 we own are stashed away for an emergency. However, I did buy some tealights when I went shopping yesterday to put in our carved pumpkins (more about that soon!) because I couldn't find battery operated ones.. so that is what we used. I think it looks really pretty!

I need a bigger space for our little memorial! I have a couple pictures of KRJ framed, plus a box with other mementos. Programs from the private ceremony we had, more pictures, the professional pictures that the hospital had done, a book about grieving that my pastor gave me, things like that. But these are my favorite keepsakes. The gorgeous urn. The shell that was used to baptize him. The footprints the nurses were kind enough to stamp for me. Things I will cherish forever. <3

One of my good friends, Sabrina, just sent me this quote and I thought it was perfect: "I held you every second of your life. If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever"

{ohh, we're halfway there}

woaaaahhh-oh! living on a prayerrrr

I can not believe I am 20 weeks and halfway through this pregnancy! The first 3 months were excruciatingly slow because we were keeping it a big secret to everyone except close family. But once the cat was out of the bag, the weeks starting flying by. Before we know it, it will be February and we will be experiencing little newborn Addison snuggles :)

{i swear, that curtain is coming down THIS WEEK lol.}

How far along? 20 weeks!
Baby stats: Addison is the size of a banana! She is about 6.5" long and has gained about 2 ounces since last week, putting her at about 10.5 ounces! She's swalling more amniotic fluid this week and her body is producing meconium. Can't wait to change that first poopy diaper! ;)

Total weight gain/loss: +7 since June
Maternity clothes? Yes
Stretch marks? Nope
Sleep: Napping like it's my job!
Best moment this week: Nothing too eventful happened this week! 
Miss Anything? A full wardrobe that fits! I hate spending so much money on maternity clothes but I think I may need to buy a few more pieces soon.
Movement: Oh yeah.
Food cravings:  Still craving those hotcakes and sausage.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Still doing good!

Have you started to show yet: Yes
Gender: GIRL! 
Labor Signs: No
Symptoms: Heartburn, USA!
Belly Button in or out? In
Wedding rings on or off? On
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy :)
Looking forward to: Getting the girls' room started. Still deciding between 2 themes.. 

I forgot how much fun it is shopping for little bitty baby clothes! We got a couple shirts for Addison the other day at The Children's Place while we were picking out some fall clothes & PJs for Aubrey. 

Aubrey picked out the cake onesie. And wow adorable is that 4th of July onesie?! I couldn't resist getting it. I decided on a 3-6 months size, since she will be just over 4 months when the 4th comes.. and with the 4th comes Aubrey's 4th birthday the next day! (Holy 4's, batman!) I can't wait for summertime with my 2 babies! :)

Fall Bucket List

Fall is here! Well, it has been for a few weeks.. This is, hands down, my favorite time of year. 

The feeling of a hoodie keeping you warm from a chilly night after a long, hot summer.
The sounds of crunchy leaves under a pair of cute boots.
The smell of the crisp, clean air coming through your windows after having them shut the past few months to keep the cold air conditioning in. 
The taste of apple cider, hot coffee, and pumpkin pie with whipped cream
The look of the gorgeous foliage that comes with living in New England.

{the view outside of our living room window}

My bucket list is a mile long, but there aren't enough weekends in the season to get it all done and unlike our Summer Bucket List, I'd like to actually complete it ;).  So, I bring to you..

The Top 10 of the Sawtelle Fall 2013 Bucket List!

1. Apple picking, and baking apple crisp with said apples.
2. Taking a hayride! Will most likely go hand in hand with apple picking.
3. Pumpkin picking, and decorating the pumpkins when we get home.
4. Go on a nature walk on some trails. 
5. Leaf pile photoshoot!
6. Make Aubrey a cozy blanket
7. Make Halloween shaped sugar cookies and hot chocolate, and then enjoy them while watching Halloween movies
8. Make 5 fall-inspired recipes (I'm looking at you, pecan pie)
9.  Go to a fall themed fair, amusement park, or festival.
10. Go through a corn maze


What is on your family's bucket list this season?

{19 weeks}

{if I don't have my new shower curtain hung up by next week, somebody please yell at me?}

How far along? 19 weeks!
Baby stats: Addison is the size of a mango! She's around 6" long and weighs about 8 1/2 ounces. Nerve cells for her sense of sight, smell, hearing and taste are developing! I wonder if she enjoys the pumpkin eggnog I got earlier this week while food shopping as much as I do ;) 

Total weight gain/loss: +3 since June
Maternity clothes? Yes
Stretch marks? Nope
Sleep: Usually when I get home from work at 1:30 am, I lay on the couch, watch tv, and doze for a bit and make my way to bed between 2:30-3. But lately there have been a few instances where Keith gets up at 6 and has to send me to bed because I just don't wake up! Sleepy sleepy.
Best moment this week: Deciding on her name!
Miss Anything? Wine.. we had a dinner date at Carrabba's on Saturday night while my father in law watched Aubrey. Keith got a big glass of our favorite Sangria and I wanted a glass so bad! I did steal a couple sips though :)
Movement: Yes :) Nothing on the outside yet, though
Food cravings:  This Saturday I am making it my mission to get up early and get McDonalds hotcakes & sausage for breakfast! It is all I have been thinking about for the past 3 days!
Anything making you queasy or sick: Still doing good!

Have you started to show yet: Yes
Gender: GIRL! 
Labor Signs: No
Symptoms: Restless legs syndrome.. the worst!
Belly Button in or out? In
Wedding rings on or off? On
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy :)
Looking forward to: Hitting the halfway mark next week!