Wednesday, May 2, 2012

A ceremony for KRJ

On Saturday, April 28th, we held a private ceremony at our church for our family & close friends to come and remember Keith Ryan. I didn't really know what to expect of my emotions that day. I made it through with minimal tears thanks to the outpouring of love and support we got from everyone that came. 

We are very fortunate to have such a wonderful pastor who was more than willing to help us with everything we needed. He even had programs made up for everyone. I still need to get a few laminated for safe keeping. 

I spent weeks trying to find the perfect song to play. I wanted something uplifting. I figured the day would be hard enough without hearing a depressing song. I spent even longer finding the words to say in my speech. 

Since nobody ever got to meet KRJ, I knew I wanted to share things about my pregnancy so our family could feel connected to him, too. I talked about how he wasn't a fan of coffee or seafood. I talked about how the first time I felt him fluttering away in my belly was when I was laying down rubbing Aubrey's back because she wasn't feeling good, and how amazing it felt to feel that connection to both of my babies. I talked about the night we found out I was expecting and how Keith asked me if I was craving Wendy's as a tactic for me to go get him some chicken nuggets.

My best friend of 15 years read a beautiful poem. The pastor read some scriptures and lead us in prayer and Amazing Grace. 

After the ceremony, everybody went outside where the pastor handed out balloons and we did a balloon release. Aubrey surprised me and didn't even cry when she let her balloon go. Instead, she looked very serene. Almost like she was making sure they all got to her little brother safely. After the balloons were too far away to see anymore, we went inside for a pot luck dinner. 

I could not have asked for a more beautiful day to remember our little man and it was just another reminder of how blessed we are with wonderful, supportive friends and family.

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