Second trimester!

The cat is finally out of the bag. This little bean is no longer our little secret! 

What's even more exciting is that I finally made it into the second trimester and everything with Baby is looking 110% amazing. I am well past the point of where I started having problems with KRJ and only a week away from the point where we lost him. I am crossing my fingers and thinking it's safe to say this our little one is in it for the long haul!

Looking pretty cozy!

Swift kick to the bladder 

The first trimester was filled with morning sickness and just about every other symptom you could think of. I barely ate. I slept too much. Keith made dinner about 95% of the time because I couldn't stomach the smell or muster up enough energy to get off the couch.  Thank God those symptoms didn't have a long lifespan. I am feeling great now, besides a few occasional symptoms.

From this week on I'll be doing weekly updates! Yay! 

How far along? 13 weeks
Baby stats: Baby is the size of a peach! Fingerprints have formed, as well as teeth and vocal cords.

Total weight gain/loss: 0 weight gain so far! I know morning sickness definitely played a part in that.
Maternity clothes? Pants and some shirts. 
Stretch marks? Besides the ones from Aubrey, none
Sleep: My job screws my sleep schedule up! I don't get home til almost 1:30am and then of course I need an hour or so to unwind. I usually end up passing out watching Secret Life on Netflix and then drag my butt to bed until Aubrey wakes up in the morning
Best moment this week: We got to see Baby on Monday! This was the first ultrasound Keith was able to make it to so that was exciting. Baby is a little wiggle worm and has a heartbeat of 159 bpm. 
Miss Anything? I would give my left arm for a cold glass of pumpkin beer with a cinnamon sugar rim. 
Movement: I'm feeling flutters! Only when I sit and press my hand against where Baby is. I  can't wait for Keith and Aubrey to be able to feel kicks from the outside :)
Food cravings: Five Guys bacon cheeseburger and cajun fries.. I'm convinced if I don't have it soon I might have a nervous breakdown. I also wanted pumpkin cheesecake so I made a homemade one for dessert when we had my mom over for dinner last weekend. It was amazing!
Anything making you queasy or sick: The smell of pasta cooking. That's about it. I'm so thankful that morning sickness seems to be done-zo

Have you started to show yet: A bit, but I feel like some people (mainly, my coworkers who I haven't known very long) are wondering if I'm pregnant or just fat.
Gender Prediction: Boy. Just judging by how I felt with this pregnancy and my pregnancy with KRJ versus my pregnancy with Aubrey.
Labor Signs: No
Symptoms: Heartburn like crazy!
Belly Button in or out? In
Wedding rings on or off? On
Happy or Moody most of the time: I definitely have my moods, especially if I'm hungry.   :)
Looking forward to: Finding out if we're having a boy or a girl! 3 more weeks!

Finally, a baby!

Originally written on August 23rd, 2012

You ever have that feeling that something is going to go horrible wrong? 

I have had this knot in my stomach since I got those two lines on that pregnancy test. Every time I went in for an ultrasound and came out with no photostrip to hold and show to our family, the knot got bigger and bigger. I was beginning to lose hope and wonder if maybe it just wasn't meant to be this time around. I started to come to terms with it in my mind. At least I didn't have to go almost 15 weeks like I did with KRJ. At least I know early so I don't get as attached.

I went into my ultrasound on Tuesday (7/10, since I am not posting these as I type them) and I just couldn't get excited. I had my camera in my purse and didn't even take it out to start recording because I was afraid that there would be nothing and I would have to have it on video. I had already had 2 in the last 3 weeks that showed nothing, so when the tech started looking around and I saw a tiny heartbeat flickering, tears instantly started. It was such a wonderful moment. 

My due date has been pushed back one last time to February 28th. A tiny part of me is bummed, only because when I first found out I was pregnant and used the due date calculator, it showed a due date of the 16th. Since I will be having a repeat c-section, that would have guaranteed a new little Valentine to snuggle. I envisioned Aubrey and her new little brother or sister wearing matching holiday outfits (oh yeah, I am so going there). But the other 99% of me is telling that 1% that there will be a million opportunities for matching outfits (especially if it's another girl!). 

Baby's heartbeat was 114 beats per minute. It was music to my ears. We have our fetal scan (where we will also find out the gender!!) on September 12th! It seems like ions away, even though it is only 59 (but who's counting, really?)

I've got a secret..

Originally written on June 17th, 2012.

3 months. That's all it took.

It took 3 months of obsessing over every little symptom. Peeing on countless sticks. Watching other friends get their good news. Praying to God every single night. 

Part of me feels so relieved it only took 3 months. 

But the other part? Oh lord. It felt like an eternity.

This gem was from early this morning. I glanced over at it and was ready to toss it when... wait a second... is that? no... could it be? ... I squinted. I brought it closer. I pulled it away. I stood on my freaking toilet to try to get a better look with some natural light coming in from the window. 

I finally broke down and woke up Keith. "Hey, Happy Fathers Day... do you see a line?!" He looked and rolled back over. "Not getting our hopes up until it's darker. That doesn't count."

Oh, BUT IT DOES! It has to! A line is a line!

I went to work and was there for what seemed like the longest 6 hours of my life. I went to Target after I left and decided I would completely take the guesswork out of everything and get First Response Digitals.

The verdict?

No denying that! I immediately felt SO much better. Just something about seeing the word makes all the doubt go away.

Well, maybe not all the doubt.

I have a feeling this whole pregnancy is going to consist of me holding my breath and waiting for something to go wrong. I'm absolutely terrified of losing another baby. I just can't go through it again. I will be calling my doctor first thing in the morning to get an appointment. I think they will be monitoring me closely this time around to keep an eye on the Bean. 

I don't know how I'm going to sleep tonight!

#5 - Go to our local splash park

One of our neighboring towns has an awesome playground/splash park. It's perfect for cooling off in the summer! We decided to go this week with my niece, Carina, and her two kids. This happened to be #5 on our Summer Bucket List.

Aubrey & Owen: cousins on a mission!

Erin is still a little too small to run around and play with the bigger kids, so she hung out with me and Carina :)

Snack time!